But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
