you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
