I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
