oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
