it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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