you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
