I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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