He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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