just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize