I'm gonna have a badass scar
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
