The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
