ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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