So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Randomize
