google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
