the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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