i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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