She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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