Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize