Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
