I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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