You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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