We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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