grandma shit on top of the toilet
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
