Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
