guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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