my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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