the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
