Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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