I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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