There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
