pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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