WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
