Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
