I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
