Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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