Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
