Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
