But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
