There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
