Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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