you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
