I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
