Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
