alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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