If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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