I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i already hear my dad disowning me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
