If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
