lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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