problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
