I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
