I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
