you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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