Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
