: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We need to rekindle our bromance
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
