I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
