Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
