HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
