I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
