Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
