Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I deserve this hangover.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
