i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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