Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
