He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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